Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
