Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
