my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
