Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize