I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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