he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
