hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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