Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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