belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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