Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He felt like a one man threesome
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
