it's like heaven, but drunker
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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