sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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