you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
