Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
