so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm bleeding and have questions
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
