I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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