just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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