sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
