when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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