Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
