He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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