i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce