i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
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All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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