I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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