Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
