Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
