i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
