i permit you to call me
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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