so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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