The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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