I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize