Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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