Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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