speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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