i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I lost the right to judge tonight
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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