I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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