well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
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In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
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Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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