remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
