I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
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The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
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Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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