i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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