Your face is a jimmy john
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just want nice things and good sex
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
