I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I will pee on everything he values.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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