You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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