Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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