i just made my gag reflex go away.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
