yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Randomize
