thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
