who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
don't judge my taste in strippers
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
