I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
