He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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