Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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