he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize