Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
