im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
