I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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