Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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