We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
