he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize