I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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