You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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