You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
