Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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