And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
