I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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