I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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