So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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