Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
