The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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