Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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